Getting along with people. 03/17/2016

Getting along with people can be tough. Some people can't make friends, some people find themselves getting angry about everything, and some people have a bunch of friends they don't want. No matter what your hurdles are, you'll find some advice that can help you in this particular blog.

1. Accept human nature.

Humans make mistakes. People aren't always nice. They say the wrong thing, they get distracted, they forget. You have to remember: all of the problems that you have in your life right now, all of your pain, they have that too. Everyone is dealing with their own set of problems. This is important to remember when you're trying to get along with people who are very difficult or seem to be ignoring you; everyone is just doing the best that they can.

2. Try to find sympathy or empathy for them.

Sympathy is when you understand or try to understand or try to understand why someone feels the way they do. Empathy is when you've been there yourself and you know how they feel. Both are great feelings to have towards another person. When someone is being difficult or they're ignoring you, try to understand their feelings. Understand that just because you don't share them, the feelings and experiences that they have are still valid. Remember that they're doing the best that they can and that they're struggling with their own problems. Think about how your problems sometimes make you meaner than you'd like or make you do things that you regret. This will make you feel better and should make your interactions with them better too.

3. Put yourself in their place.

Think about what people do and then think about what you'd do in their position. Remove as much of your personal bias as possible and remember that they might not be as emotionally developed or sensitive as you are. Would you make the same choices that they did? Be truthful with yourself. The answer will often be yes, so try to cut people a break.

4. Respect that there are lots of valid choices.

People are all very different: that's what makes life interesting. And just like people are all different and aren't just black and white cookie cutter characters, the world is also very complex. Every situation is different, always. Just because someone doesn't make the choice that you would make or just because they take a less efficient or smart path to get where they're going doesn't make them wrong. Life isn't a test with an answer sheet: it's just something that we have to do for ourselves and we can't hold other people to our standards.

5. Think about how kids act and think. When you're really having a tough time with people, think about kids. Kids often say the wrong things and do the wrong things because they're still learning. The tough thing about life is that it's very complex. There's a lot to learn. Some people might not have learned all their lessons yet. Try to treat them with the same patience that you would treat a child, without being patronizing. We're all in the process of growing up, our entire lives.